Tibetan Wisdom
for a Happy Family




"Life is ongoing,
and the spirit seeking incarnation
is attracted by the specific energetic quality of the parents,
even as they engage in intercourse.

The environment at conception is important;
it is recommended that during lovemaking a couple meditate on:  
love, compassion, consciousness, or gentleness,
and avoid anger, attachment, jealousy, aggression, or fantasies.


The Dalai Lama,
on Child Development
from Healing Emotions:  Conversations with the Dalai Lama on Mindfulness, Emotions, and Health
edited by Daniel Goleman, pp. 246-248


"The basic human condition, or human quality is human affection.  That's the key
thing, right?  It is possible to develop, or promote, that human quality, because
human nature, I believe is basically compassionate.  Negative emotions are also part
of the human mind.  However, the dominant force of the human mind is still
compassion.

Conception takes place when a male and female come together, due, I think, to
genuine love.  That means they respect each other, are concerned with each other, and
share a sense of responsibility.   (Not like the situation in which sexual intercourse
takes place because of other things.  These other cases are really mad love.  There is, I
think, mad desire for sexual pleasure, and these negative things develop).  But
proper human sexuality, according to a kind of natural law, I think includes some
sense of responsibility.

In that way, human life begins.  Then during those few months in the
mother's womb, the mother's state of mind has a strong influence
on the development of the child.

Then, especially during the first few weeks after birth, according to scientists, the
mother's physical touch is a most important factor for the healthy development of the
baby.  I always tell people that a mother is a true teacher of compassion
and human affection.










Therefore, I do not consider compassion as unique to religion.  It's the basic human
nature that we all share.  Mother's milk is, I think, a symbol of compassion.  Without
mother's milk we cannot survive, so our first act as a baby together with our mother is
sucking milk from our mother, with a feeling of great closeness.  At that time, we may
not know how to express what love is, what compassion is, but there is a strong
feeling of closeness.  From the mother's side also, if there is no strong feeling of
closeness toward the baby, her milk may not flow readily.**  So, mother's milk is, I
think, a symbol of compassion and human affection."


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**Milk supply issues and breastfeeding dissatisfaction are most commonly due to low
neurophysiological levels of oxytocin & prolactin after surgical delivery, drugged, or traumatic birth,  
preexisting psychological dissociation, and/or acute postpartum grief -  a modern global crisis
resulting in less pleasurable breastfeeding and  With many modern women only nursing for a few
weeks, if at all,  low neonatal levels of prolactin creates a vicious cycle of deficiency in later adult life,
compared to the previous worldwide average of providing children with a strong breastfeeding bond
well past the age of two.

When it comes to restablishing proper emotional brain chemistry for deprived children and anxious
mothers, The value of traditional "Mother's Massage" for infants and young children cannot be
underestimated, regardless of economic class or adoption.   
- Mary Ceallaigh.